They’ve been called the “entitled generation,” “snowflakes,” and a “corporate headache.” Millennials, and now Gen Z, are perhaps the most maligned group to ever enter the workforce. Managers complain that they are narcissistic, unfocused, lazy, and demand to make an “impact” without being willing to put in the time. They hop from job to job, their eyes glued to their phones, seemingly allergic to the dues-paying hierarchies of old.

It’s a simple, and frankly, lazy narrative. And according to leadership expert and author Simon Sinek, it’s completely wrong.

In a groundbreaking interview that has since become a cultural touchstone, Sinek dismantles this entire stereotype with surgical precision. He presents a powerful, empathetic, and ultimately damning case that the “problem” with millennials isn’t them at all. The problem, he argues, is us. It’s the world we built for them, the parenting strategies we employed, the technology we handed them, and the corporate environments we refuse to change.

Sinek argues that this generation’s struggles are the result of a “perfect storm” of four distinct factors that converged during their formative years. This isn’t a case of a “bad generation”; it’s a case of a failed generation—failed by their parents, their schools, their technology, and their employers.

Factor 1: The “Failed Parenting” Experiment

The first piece of the puzzle, Sinek notes, begins at home. Many in the millennial generation were raised under a well-intentioned but ultimately damaging parenting philosophy. They were told, repeatedly, that they were special. They were told they could have anything they want in life, just because they want it.

This philosophy manifested in tangible ways. They got participation medals, not for winning, but simply for showing up. This practice, designed to bolster self-esteem, had the opposite effect. It devalued the reward and taught no lesson about the value of effort. In some schools, honors students were kept quiet for fear of “making the other kids feel bad.”

The result? An entire cohort of young people entered the real world and were hit by a proverbial ton of bricks. They discovered, in a brutal shock, that they were not special. Their mothers couldn’t get them a promotion. They don’t get a medal for just showing up. And, most painfully, they can’t just have something because they want it.

This, Sinek explains, shattered their self-image. The world didn’t match what their parents had promised, leaving them with lower self-esteem than any previous generation. They were thrust into a world that demanded resilience, but they had been raised without the tools to build it.

Factor 2: The Unregulated Dopamine Machine

The second factor is technology, specifically, social media and the smartphones that house it. Sinek makes a chilling but critical comparison: the neurological effect of using Facebook, Instagram, and other platforms is chemically identical to the effects of gambling, smoking, and drinking.

“When you get a ‘like,’ it feels good,” Sinek explains. This good feeling is dopamine, the same chemical that makes us feel pleasure when we eat, drink, or accomplish a goal. It’s a highly, highly addictive chemical. This is why we check our phones obsessively, count our followers, and feel a spike of anxiety if a text goes unanswered.

Here’s the danger: we have age restrictions on alcohol, smoking, and gambling. Yet, Sinek points out, we have virtually no restrictions on handing this equally addictive technology to children. Their developing brains, particularly during the stressful period of adolescence, are learning to cope with life’s anxieties not by turning to other people, but by turning to a device.

When they feel lonely, they don’t learn how to form a deep, meaningful relationship; they post on Instagram to get a temporary hit of connection. When they feel stressed, they don’t learn the mechanisms of resilience; they text a friend for a fleeting good feeling.

The tragedy, Sinek says, is that this digital life provides relief, but not fulfillment. It teaches them how to “put a filter” on their lives, but not how to be vulnerable. They learn how to get attention, but not how to build trust. As a result, many enter the workforce with a functional addiction, unable to form the deep, trusting relationships that are the bedrock of a happy life and a successful career. They have countless “friends” online, but few they can truly count on.

Factor 3: The Age of Impatience

Compounding the first two factors is the world of instant gratification they grew up in. This is a generation that has never had to wait for anything.

Want to buy something? It arrives from Amazon the next day. Want to watch a movie? Stream it instantly on Netflix; no need to even check a schedule, let alone go to a video store. Want to find a date? Don’t learn the awkward, messy, confidence-building skill of walking up to someone and saying hello; just swipe right on Tinder.

Everything they want, they can have now. Everything, that is, except the two things that matter most: job satisfaction and deep, trusting relationships.

Those things, Sinek reminds us, are slow. They are meandering, uncomfortable, and messy. They take time. You cannot “binge-watch” a career. You cannot “swipe right” for trust. But this generation has not been forced to practice the skills of patience and perseverance.

They graduate and land their first job, and if they aren’t “making an impact” within six months, they declare the job a failure and quit. They see the “summit” of career success—the corner office, the big salary—but they don’t see the mountain they have to climb to get there. They have been conditioned to expect the reward instantly, and when it doesn’t come, they believe the system is broken, or worse, that they are.

Factor 4: The Failure of Corporate Leadership

These three factors—low self-esteem, a reliance on digital-social coping mechanisms, and a profound sense of impatience—combine to create a young employee who is, by all measures, not yet fully prepared for the pressures of the modern workplace.

And then, Sinek says, they are dropped into the fourth and most critical factor: the environment.

We take this generation and place them in corporate environments that, more often than not, “care more about the numbers than they do about the people.” We are more focused on short-term gains and annual profits than on the long-term, human development of our employees.

We give them all the free food and beanbag chairs in the world, but we fail to give them what they actually need: mentorship, leadership, and a safe place to fail. We don’t teach them the social skills they are missing. We don’t help them build their confidence. We don’t teach them the joys of patience and the deep fulfillment of working toward something long-term.

When they struggle, we label them “entitled.” When they ask for help, we see it as weakness. When they fail, we manage them out instead of coaching them up. We have failed in our duty as leaders.

Sinek’s solution is as simple as it is profound: leadership. The missing piece is a generation of managers and mentors who are willing to pick up the slack where parenting and technology have failed.

Companies need to become the new “village.” This means creating environments where human interaction is prioritized. Sinek’s most famous rule? No cell phones in conference rooms. When you are in a meeting, you are present. You are connecting with the people in that room. Ideas, he argues, don’t happen on a schedule; they happen when we bump into each other, make small talk, and build real, analog relationships.

This is a call to action for empathy. It is a demand that we stop blaming a generation for the world we gave them and instead take responsibility. It’s up to us to teach them the skills they are missing. It’s our job to build their confidence, to show them what a trusting relationship looks like, and to prove to them, through patient mentorship, that the most fulfilling things in life—love, joy, career satisfaction, and a deep sense of purpose—are not apps. They are processes. And they are worth the wait.